The Porn Pay-Per-View Network

When high school senior Andy discovers that his college fund was lost during the recession, he decided to raise the money on his own. However, he knew that working in some lame summer job would not be able to support his academic needs. So he decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. He decided to sell his adult porn videos.

Andy had amassed an amazing collection of porn movies that was the envy of everyone in their sleepy little town of Shermer, Wisconsin. In fact, adult and teen males alike refer to him as “the porn guy”. A title which Andy was proud to be bestowed upon. However, with his lifelong dream of becoming a Physics major put in jeopardy by the global economic crisis, he had to improvise.

It was in a rented storage space that Andy set up shop. It took him three trips using his dad’s Impala to get all of his porn videos and his computer there. He hyped up the event as a one night only sale of all his entire porn collection. The news spread like wildfire. Set to begin at midnight, Andy was surprised to see a long line of people who had camped out patiently waiting to get first dibs. Andy opened up his makeshift store, and the people all rushed in. It was absolute madness. All night, Andy was accepting payments, making recommendations, even pitching lesser videos and making deals.

He was respected enough that no one even tried to steal from him despite the opportunities the chaos had brought. From midnight to sunrise, Andy had managed to sell every piece of his cherished collection. He set there, greeted the sunrise with coffee in hand. He counted the money that he earned. It was then that he had an epiphany. As the sunlight swept through the town of Shermer, Andy realized this true calling.

The following day, Andy had cancelled his application to the state’s top Science University and had decided to use the money to open up his own business. Andy now has his sights set on opening up his very own adult video store. “The Porn Guy’s Treasure Chest of Smutty Goodness” will be opening its first branch in March of next year.

Sometimes life makes unexpected detours into desperation before one discovers his path. Andy can not be any happier now.

For many decades, campaigns to thwart the tobacco industry have been done to lessen the use and harm of their highly addictive product. Over the past several years however, adult porn sites have slowly risen to a point that it is becoming more addictive than nicotine. A recent study conducted by a bunch of researchers from a California university confirms this.

There are several problems in comparing porn and cigarettes. First, cigarettes are cheaper and readily available everywhere. There are more people who smoke cigarettes than they view adult porn sites. However, since porn sites do not generally slowly kill people, non-smoking porn lovers tend to enjoy porn sites for a longer period of time.

Since there are no immediate physiological effects in watching porn, it is very rare that a person would go on a “porn site hiatus”. Cigarette smokers on average tend to temporarily kick the habit once plagued by effects of nicotine such as a sore throat.

Addiction expert Dr. Philip Rassmusstin offered his take on the subject. “Porn sites are more addictive because many people don’t even know that they’re addicted to viewing them. Cigarette smoking is generally perceived as an addictive vice. With that as a given, people smoke under the predetermined notion that they are partaking something that’s addictive. Most of the times, that helps them moderate the habit. With porn, it’s very different, mainly because people already have lowered their guards down upon visiting a particular porn site. This in essence makes them all the more vulnerable to porn addiction.”

With such a unique perspective on porn addiction, Rassmusstin is hard pressed when it comes to suggesting a means of avoiding addiction. “The only thing I can think of is that people should just go cold turkey with porn sites.”

If it is proven that porn sites are indeed more addictive than cigarettes, should there be action taken to discourage people from visiting these sites? “I don’t think there’s anything that can be done about it. Like cigarettes, porn is a problem that we all have to live with. I myself have embraced the addiction, and that is indeed the first step.”

The negative effects of adult porn sites have yet to be fully determined. The researchers are currently trying to determine if these sites are a new problem to be faced or possibly a healthier alternative to smoking.

A porn company with a unique production theme is going to be launched in the middle of next year. This porn production outfit promises that they will deliver high quality porn at par with their competitors, with one characteristic. This company will be producing only holiday themed adult porn videos. This production outfit is tentatively named Hallmark Porn.

Aaron Styles, head of Hallmark Porn, discusses the very concept of the production outfit. “Porn is a yearly four billion dollar business. What does that mean to us? It means that there are lots of people out there who like porn. Chances are, the person beside you right now is an avid porn viewer. So, with that in mind, what do you think is the level of probability that a person who would receive porn as a gift who like and appreciate it? Pretty high, right? That’s what we want to do here at Hallmark Porn. We want to create not only quality adult movies that all fans of the medium would enjoy, but also something festive and ideal as gifts.”

The company is now currently in production of several films. While the company is set to officially launch in the middle of next year, they are already working diligently on a Christmas themed video for this year. “Hopefully, Mrs. Claus Goes to Town would hit the video stores and the web sites before Christmas Day itself. We are also in the production stage of Auld Lang Cock, or offering for the upcoming New Year.”

Other of their projects include Teenage Trick or Treat, a Halloween special that shows naughty teenagers in hot costumes trick or treating and having sex. Naughty Easter Egg Hunt is obviously a tribute to the great tradition with a sexy twist. Plymouth Fuck is a porn tat features a very unique re-imagining of the history of Thanksgiving. This Styles reveled is Hallmark’s most ambitious project. Shot on location and with a rather sizeable budget, Plymouth Fuck will be the company’s initial crown jewel of holiday offerings.

“Our projects will not only be about the major holidays. We are going for every holiday possible. We are going to be as non-denominational as possible. In development are Kwanzaa and Hanukkah movies, and we will also be producing ones for Asian Holidays, most likely Chinese New Year. Hallmark Porn is definitely set on making an impact in the upcoming year. I personally, am very excited.”

Education has always been a primary concern for any nation that aspires to thrive. In order to optimize one’s learning capacity every subject must be adapted to the student’s understanding. This theory is now being tested out in a few European nations. In an attempt to educate some of the individuals that are too old to attend schooling, certain researchers are attempting to incorporate adult porn sites in their learning methodology.

Hans Stojakovic, one of the top researchers on the project, has full faith that the method would prove to be a success. “It’s no secret that many people, both male and female, frequent these sites. And there are a surprising number of people out there who can navigate the Internet pretty well even though their education does not go beyond reading and writing.”

The project, while geared towards those who are at the very least literate, would incorporate subjects like math and science as well as further lessons in communication, like English and perhaps even literature. “Think of it as Dora The Explorer but instead of a little traveling around with a monkey and a talking backpack, you get taught by a really hot chick with big boobs.”

The comparison to the popular children’s television show, as tasteless as it may be, is perhaps the best way to describe the project. Like the TV show, the site would be interactive, giving visitors a set of questions in a multiple choice format. Whenever one gets a correct answer, he or she would be treated to a very hot sex scene. The site would be updated regularly, so everyone gets a fresh “lesson” on a weekly basis. “They’ll get parts of a hardcore sex scene, and the only way that you’ll get through the end of it is by answering the questions right.”

The question now looms, why would people, particularly their target audience, choose to visit a site when there are thousands of others that would let them view porn uninterrupted? Hans has an answer. “The key is to not only make it attractive, but to make it fun. Also, we are trying to get the best and biggest names in the Norwegian porn industry. We’ll also be catering to different genres to accommodate everyone’s preference.”

As of this writing, the project seems to be in its middle stages of development. The efficiency of the program rests on the content itself, and the willingness of people to learn, porn or not.

There are many mental institutions in the Midwest area that have accepted the therapeutic benefits of adult porn sites. It has been discovered that such websites can be an affected way to keep patients in check especially during difficult outbursts. The said sites has been cited to produce a calming effect that’s more immediate and in many cases more effective than traditional sedation.

The discovery began when in a patient in one of the mental institutions that suffers from chronic depression attempted to steal a bottle of sleeping pills in the pharmacy when he stopped and stared at a computer monitor until he was found by security. It was later reported that a reckless nurse left the monitor on while viewing adult sites. The nurse stepped out for just a few moments to use the bathroom, not expecting a patient would break in. The orderlies that caught the patient all confirm that the patient was in a state of complete docility and was just deeply immersed in the images on the site.

Initially thinking that the effect was just due to sexual deprivation, doctors scoffed at the notion of porn to be actually helpful. However, during a mess hall incident involving several patients breaking into a near riot when the same nurse took out his laptop and almost immediately the patients stopped. Since then, the nurses would employ the same approach unbeknownst to the doctors. When the doctors did find out, they started to consider the possibilities of using a porn site when the usual medications fail or is hard to obtain.

One doctor who had requested anonymity has begun conducting research regarding the subject. The doctor has been trying to use porn sites on test subjects of diverse demographics. “The effect varies, of course, but not in the way one would expect. It doesn’t matter if it’s male or female, and the reaction most of the time is not even sexual. Of course, there was that one guy who pleasured himself three consecutive times. To a lot of the rest, though, it starts with an initial shock, then it evolves into a deep fascination.”

While there has yet to be anything conclusive to be yielded from the tests, the doctor is now putting together enough material to launch a formal academic study on the matter. “If all hypotheses are correct, we might be on the doorstep of a major discovery that wou;d change the face of mental health forever.”

The Internet has become so much of a convenience today. Almost anything can be done online, while just sitting in front of your computer. You do stuff like shopping, communicating with friends, watching movies and listening to music. It also caters to other needs like watching X-rated movies in adult porn sites.

There are literally millions of adult porn websites available on the Internet, and each day, more sites are brought online. You may ask why these types of websites are widespread. Well, it is because it is the cheapest, fastest, and convenient way of obtaining adult material.

So what is wrong with these porn sites anyway? What are the dangers?

Since porn is very popular nowadays, it very easy for someone with malicious intent to abuse it. Proof of that are the numerous spam sites that promise you the type of porn you are looking for. They usually advertise that their content is free, or at a discounted price. However, such promises often lead to something worse.

A typical scam adult porn site teases you with attractive pictures and videos in their front page. If you want to see more, you are required to register and give personal information, or pay a minimum fee for a subscription.

Those scam sites turn out to be data mining operations that seek to exploit your personal information. You run the risk of identity theft or other fraudulent activities common on the Internet. If you think that a little personal information may not harm you, you are mistaken. All a cyber thief needs to know is just a little information about you to use your credit card or your bank account.

For those subscription-based scam adult sites, they would usually ask for a very small membership fee for access. Well, most of the time, you do get access, and think everything is alright, until you get your credit card bill. What often happens is, these sites would charge you repeatedly, without your knowledge. When you decide to cancel it, you may be again charged for a termination fee!

To avoid these things, here are a few things that you can do to avert disaster.

It is not entirely bad to go visit adult porn websites per se, but you must be very careful in doing so. Be skeptical when a website asks you for your personal information, no matter how trivial it may seem. When paying for a porn subscription, always read the fine print carefully. If you think something fishy is going on, then don’t sign up.

Also, make certain that you have updated security software such as an antivirus, firewall, and anti-spyware installed in your computer. It all may seem a little bit too paranoid to do so, but you can never be too sure. Security software protects you from malicious programs such as spyware, viruses, and other forms of malware that may get into your computer once you come into contact with scam porn adult sites.

DULUTH, GEORGIA – “Why would she ever do an adult porn video?” says a disbelieving close friend, Gwyneth Palltrowe, “it is against her religion! This is an outrage!”

In what may be a shocking turn of events, Madonna Louise DeLucci — a karaoke bar owner in Duluth, Georgia has caused a furor in her neighborhood when her adult video porn was released yesterday in the local adult shop.

The adult video in question was the “Merry MILFs of America”, a hardcore porn movie that showcases “beautiful women of a certain age doing the nasty”. Madonna was plucked from a list of attractive middle-aged women voted by the online community of Facebook. The porn video was produced and distributed by Vivid Entertainment, a Los Angeles-based adult entertainment company. The company also spearheaded the search on Facebook. The DVD is currently selling briskly around the United States and can be downloaded in the Vivid Entertainment website.

In her scene, Madonna has sex with twenty year old porn star, Jesus Lutz, with veteran pornstar Ron Jeremy, while singing Eighties favorites in a sing-a-long bar. She reportedly had a boa constrictor perform oral sex on her using its long forked tongue and was unharmed. It was reported that she did not shoot the porn in her bar. The production was in a set in Sausalito, California.

The community acted negatively to the once Miss Spring Maiden Of Georgia 1974. Friends and family were concerned whether Madonna was in a proper state of mind or was coerced by a third party to perform int the video porn shoot. “She has never acted so brazenly before,” says neighbor Sandra Bernhardt, “she was a Christian woman and even though she’s joined a heathen cult, I know Madonna was sensible and would not mix with shady folks!”

The townspeople of her hometown of Duluth was going to confiscate available copies of “Merry MILFs of America” and have it publicly burned in the front lawn of the woman’s residence.

Madonna DeLucci was not available for comment.

In a recent study conducted by research psychologists in Boston, MA, doctors tested productivity, efficiency and alertness of forty males aged 20 to 54 years old (divided into three age groups) after making them watch porn movies. They have concluded that amongst adult males, being able to watch porn movies enhances ones skills at work.

Ninety four to eighty five percent scored higher with analysis-, speed- and creativity-driven tasks. The researchers have also substantiated these findings with physiological tests on subjects while they are made to watch porn movies. It hasn’t been determined whether the same effect will happen to women.

Dr. Jason Hart, PhD, department head of Media Studies at the American Institute Of Human Psychology Research has exhaustively been examining the effects of pornography since the institute opened in 1978. As one of the leading proponents of studying the psychological effects of media to the society, Hart explains that pornography not only stimulates the baser side of the human brain but the more complex and largely unknown workings of the right hemisphere. The image of sex while one gets to watch porn movies seems to trigger electric responses.

Hart says that they will conduct more tests and get more subjects to watch porn movies.

The intelligence quotient of the subjects have also been determined and have been considered as a working variable.

Adult’s porn choices are often dictated by a subliminal association between a viewer’s self-image and generalizations about various adult porno genres. For example, a tough biker will more likely to be drawn to adult porn that features leather incorporated into the costumes of the performers’ costumes. This association with leather will lead the biker to more adult porn content in the BDSM realm, and this in turn will encourage the biker to develop a further interest in BDSM due to his subliminal association between his lifestyle and this genre of porn.

Adult’s form their personal identities mainly in their teen years, during a time when they are also faced with understanding sex and dealing with changing bodies. This is also the first time when many young adults’ porn preferences are first established. Perhaps it is one of the few choices adults make in the privacy of their own conscience, but an adult’s porn preferences often have some element of social context: as young boys, we often seek the peer support of our friends when venturing into something as taboo as adult porn for the first time, and this shared peer experience further binds developing adult’s perception of themselves in relation to the normality of porn as an entertainment resource.

Once we feel comfortable with the fact that we’re not abnormal for watching adult pornos, we are able to make it a more private act to watch porn. Adults are quite comfortable with themselves after years of being exposed to porn- which leads them to seek more exciting and new genres of porn to suit their sexual preferences, which are always tied back to our subliminal perceptions of self-identity.