The Porn Pay-Per-View Network

The Porn Search Academy is opening up its gates to everyone aspiring to be a part of the growing world of the adult film industry. Through the PSA, students will learn about the ins and outs of the beloved industry and gain useful insight in all of the aspects of porn film production. With academy comprising of the most gifted members of the adult film industry, students are definitely ensured of a bright future in perhaps one of the most alluring and provocative media of entertainment known to man.

For aspiring performers, there are highly intensive acting workshops available to suit the various levels of acting necessary to make it and take it in porn. From basic acting to a full blown course on how to properly react when being gang banged by four or more guys, the PSA promises that students will graduate fully equipped to handle the pressure of appearing on camera. For those who are more inclined to peek behind the curtain and unravel the secrets behind porn movie magic, a competitive porn filmmaking course is offered. Students will get the best technical and aesthetic education about making an effective porn movie, using only the top of the line porn making equipment. For the natural storyteller, a porn screenwriting workshop is offered, with the students’ scripts having a realistic chance to be produced into an actual movie. Learn to weave intricate tales and create larger than life yet still relatable characters who spout off witty banter from the top writers in the business.

For the entrepreneurial soul, a crash course of adult film production is offered. Be a big shot producer and learn how to work the typical porn film budget, acquire locations and audition talent. Other minor courses include porn lighting, porn art direction, porn FX and sound design and basic sex toy troubleshooting. Develop all the special skills necessary to carve your own path in the world of adult film!

“The world of film is not unlike the rest of the real world” said PSA founder Mark Jizzon. “A good education and a complete and thorough training will always give an individual a clear advantage over the rest of his or her peers. We at the PSA believe that only through our rigid training would better help aspiring porn people have that edge over the very stiff competition. Our students can definitely stick it to their rivals.”

A porn search is not as easy as people think. It requires a certain amount of skill, patience, and perhaps even a complete mastery of search engines and other Internet tools and resources available online. Many people have determined that it’s high time to recognize gifted individuals with utmost dedication to be a master porn searcher. In any field it is important to determine who really rules the roost, and in 2010, the first ever annual porn search championship is to going to be held.

The event is organized by the Global Porn Specialist Group, or the GPSG. It is a one day tournament open to all Internet porn search fanatics from all over the world. This grueling tournament will pit these gifted individuals against each other, armed with only a normal computer with a fast Internet connection and their own special skills. These guys will be tasked to search of the rarest, most obscure porn ever placed online, many of which were planted and buried by the GPSG themselves.

Many in the GPSG are excited over this upcoming event. According to one of their representatives, this is comparable to a sacred quest for many porn fans. “Finding a good porn movie is like locating the Holy Grail. You can’t just go on a search engine and just type away. Sometimes you just have to dig deeper. And based from what we’ve seen, there are a lot of good diggers out there.”

The tourney is said to be subdivided into different categories. There’s the search for streaming porn video, wherein the contestants are given a limited to find a specific porn video in streaming sites. Then there’s the porn download category, where the contestants not only have to search for download links but have to be the first to finish downloading a good copy of the video. And then, there’s the lightning round which is the accumulation of specific porn photos under five minutes. It all ends with the final round, an all out search for a secret German BDSM porn made specifically for the event, and uploaded on that very day and hidden under several layers of other sites and pop ups.

“It’s very competitive, we are making sure of that. The prize of course would be worth it.”

Raging hormones more often than not lead to unfortunate events. Anyone who’s ever been a teenage boy understands this more than anyone. Once under the bidding of our hormones, we usually end up doing things that they would eventually grow up, look back upon and chuckle. Legendarily stupid things have been done for the sake of appeasing such hormones. In the case of 16 year old Leo Smith, from a small town in West Newbury, Massachusetts, a simple porn search nearly had fatal results.

Leo is but a quiet boy, often described by many as shy and perhaps even nerdy. Short in stature, with thick glasses to boot, Leo seemed like a supporting character from a teenage romantic comedy, the staple geek who could only wish for the girl of his dreams. In reality, there was nothing romantic about how Leo passes his time. It turned out that the teen was on his way to becoming a chronic masturbator, a problem that remained unchecked since his parents deemed their son’s constant abuse of himself as something that was “perfectly natural”.

“He spends hours locked in his room, just in front of his computer, claiming he was working on a school paper,” revealed a teary eyed mother as she attempted to recount her son’s brush with death. “We just didn’t mind it. After all, that’s what teenage boys do, right?” She later learned that whacking off six times a day is not exactly what teenage boys normally do.

On the fateful Saturday morning, the insatiable teen was at it again, scouring the world wide Web for his latest muse. On a day when Leo had used up all his hand lotion, he opted to lubricate his genitalia with soap and water, taking comfort in the fact that his parents were out and he was free to ensure his penis’ protection from friction burns.

Leo was using one hand to navigate his desktop while the other dipped in a bowl of soapy water as he was trying to get the old engines to rev up. He has yet to find a suitable piece of material when the fuse blew.

A disgruntled Leo ran towards the fuse box. In his hormone stupor, the fact that his hand had been soaking in water for several minutes somehow escaped his mind. He was reminded of the fact in a spectacularly shocking fashion.

Miraculously, Leo survived only with minor burns and wounds with a deep sense of regret and shame.