The Porn Pay-Per-View Network

Living in a world where the global economy seemingly hangs on just by a thread, everyone is trying their best to save every penny they can. Even the fans of hardcore pornography are always on the look out for high quality adult entertainment without having as huge of a toll taken on these loyal audiences’ wallets. Our senior porn economics analyst Roger Von Bukes urges fans to enjoy the benefits of pay per minute porn movies.

Like the name suggests, pay per porn minute porn movies are a staple promo in most of the top porn websites on the Web today, charging viewers only for the actual minutes that the porn videos was being streamed. Von Bukes, this is the best way to enjoy porn without having the hassle of spending too much and regretting it later. Von Bukes main rationale for this is simple, he claims that the human biology ensures that his suggested course of action does save people money.

How? Why? It’s simple and pretty darn obvious. If an average man gets charged only for the actual amount of time he spends watching the porn video, and if it’s done so by the minute, then it would definitely be the most economical way the average man can watch porn. After all, the average man only watches porn to jerk off, and the average man ejaculates at around two to three minutes. That’s even less time spent than listening to your average song!

Complete satisfaction in just under three minutes. That is the power of masturbation and the driving force behind the success of these pay per minute movies. Von Bukes is so confident on this theory that he even experimented with it. He took two average guys who do not know each other and set them up in two different apartments in one building. Each man was given free internet porn memberships, one was signed up with one of those pay per minute programs, while the other as giving an important. After the two month mark both guys were asked for a very honest statement. Their statements were later corroborated with other data that was accumulated from each man’s respective computer, and yes, indeed, both men watched the same amount of porn. It’s just that one man paid for it in full while the other paid only for the good parts.

Von Bukes is pursuing further study, but is already urging people to save on porn.

Times are so hard that people have stopped giving to the less fortunate. A Cleveland-based charitable institution has found a way to solve that. Understanding the fact that people these days need at least some incentive before trying to reach into their pockets, the Cleveland Cares Foundation have decided to entice potential donors and volunteers with the ability to freely download porn videos.

Coordinating with a top porn website, a donation of a certain amount or rendering a specific amount of volunteer hours gives one access to the exclusive content provided for the CCF. While this is not the only incentive available to interested parties, t has become quickly the most popular and effective one. The founder of CCF, Ken Thurmgood, is very pleased. “The adult film industry is one thin that I’m grateful for. To tell you the truth, I never really expected to get more assistance from the porn industry than I do from the government. Shows all of us not to judge a person by the number of times their anatomy had been invaded by a foreign object.”

Things are also looking up for the volunteers who had been to CCF for a long time. “To be completely frank,” said Irma, a middle aged volunteer for CCF. “I was at first wary of their help. After all, what would the community say? Well, Mr. Thurmgood’s gut instincts tell him that it’s a right course of action.”

This decision by Thurmgood and his band of do-gooders have not been wet met with has seen more than its fair share of opposition. The CCF still remains undaunted n their cause. “Just because they do adult movies doesn’t mean that they can’t be contributing members of society.” Thumgood beams as he says these words. “And like I’ve said, they’ve done more for Cleveland’s less fortunate than most so-called morally superior individuals.”

The CCF has made it a point to shun all the righteous detractors from their cause, focusing only a results-based program t help the people of Cleveland Thurmgood and the rest of his people also hope that their actions inspire other non-government charitable institutions to take bolder steps to achieve their goals. “The world is becoming more and more competitive, and it’s hard for guys like us who just want to help out. If people would rather spend their money on porn, then basically that’s what we’re offering. With an extra dose of charity, of course.”

A teenager claims that he is transformed into a physically fit person, thanks to watching a porn site. Eben Hart, an 18 year old high school Senior from Dallas,Texas reported that his attitude towards life was changed, thanks to a porn website.

The youngster said that before this all started, he was a bum. He did nothing much, aside from doing schoolwork, overeating and playing video games. In fact, he practically gaining weight. His mom and even his girlfriend of three years warned him of his laziness. Hart said that he was getting way too pudgy for his age.

According to an interview, his transformation began when his best friend sent him a link which inadvertently led him to a porn site.
“My buddy sent me this link, he said I really should check it out. At first, I thought it was some sort of prank, but I was wrong”, the youngster said grinning from ear to ear.

He would not disclose much of what he saw in that site, nor did he reveal which website that gave him a change of heart. He did elaborate however, how it made him physically fit.

“It was unbelievable, I saw these beautiful and unattainably hot babes! These guys, they were getting it on with girls who I could only dream of screwing! I suddenly felt empty for a while, but somehow watching this guy’s steel ass pumping the cute blonde from the rear, made me realize something. I thought that if I were a little just like them, maybe I could get these girls. I wanted to be like them, and I will do what it takes to change my flabby ass!” How’s that for a Scarlett O’Hara moment?

Most male porn stars have to be physically fit,, They also have to have washboard six-pack abs and huge arms. This is probably what inspired this teenage boy to shape up. He said he started doing simple exercises at home, like push-ups and sit-ups. However, he thought that it was still not enough. So he signed up at a gym to work out.
His family was impressed by his sudden change in attitude. His father said “He was really such a lazy ass. Even asking him to put out the garbage was impossible, but now, you don’t have to tell him twice. My son thinks household chores are also a means of exercise.”

When asked if his family knew how he has lost a lot of weight, he said, “I really don’t want to admit that I surf porn on the Internet, so I just told them that I found a website that had some tips on reducing weight and becoming healthy”.

The 18-year-old gave sound advice to all lazy bums who sit all day in their parent‘s living room. He says if you start working out, you get to be fit and healthy. And if you have the body of a porn star, you’re one step closer to getting your dream girl.