“It’s high time that everyone know how important these porn videos are in our lives” chimed in a loyal fan of bizarre porn. “Notice how the two girls one cup video earned its rightful place in mainstream media? Bizarre porn videos are ingrained in the minds of every true porn fanatic. It’s everyone’s guilty pleasure. We all want to go and see the weirdest shit they could wrap their minds around of. This would be a true tribute to everyone who really loves the art of porn.”

Regarding the criteria for judging which bizarre videos are a cut above the rest of the materials available on the ‘net, we sought the opinion of one porn veteran who also anxiously awaits the awards show. ”I think the one that carries with it the most potential for psychologically damaging the viewer enough that his or her everyday living is forever altered. It’s all about impact. If it doesn’t drive you crazy, it’s mostly not even bizarre enough to warrant attention. A truly bizarre video grabs everyone’s attention like a kick in the balls.”

The event is rumored to star former adult film star turned b-movie actress Tracy Lords. There will be several guests throughout the show, and the guest list is reportedly as bizarre as the nominated videos themselves. From Carrot Top to Ben Affleck, the guest list reads like a who’s who of the most unrelated people ever assembled in one space. The you porn Bizarre porn Awards night promises to be a three hour mind fuck that everyone would definitely enjoy. Another fan offered his insight. “I believe it’s going to be the best night in the history of the porn industry. When regular porn came out, everyone viewed it as outlandish and wild, bizarre even. But, now, it’s all considered the norm. Bizarre porn videos are the future of the entire industry, so I’m glad that these videos that are mostly known for novelty are getting something more. They will open up nothing but good things for the entire porn industry.”

The dare that made the man from Edmonton go through the current ordeal he’s facing was born out of a debate as to whether or not there is a limit on how much porn a person could watch. The man from Edmonton, reported to have severe issues regarding his sexuality, was standing up for the misconception that masculinity is defined by sexual appetite, and was pushing his point that a real man can watch never watch too much porn. The man, whose blatant chauvinistic and absent minded ways have rubbed every single friend he has the wrong way at some point or another, was then dared to prove his statement.

He then boldly stated that he will prove it in any way that would silence what he viewed as overly critical friends challenging his manhood. He was then dared to watch every single video on you porn, a challenge he gladly accepted. According to initial statements, the man was enjoying the dare for the best of three days, and then he started to crack. He has been reported making odd phone calls to random people, ranting and raving about the ugliness of society as a whole. He has stopped eating, informing his friends through text messaging that everything he ingested felt like he was swallowing semen. He drank less and less amounts of water and other fluids, and has totally neglected sleep.

One of his closer friends started to worry, and visited him at his home. He witnessed a site he would never forget. The man from Edmonton was naked and wrapped only in what used to be his curtains. The you porn videos were still blaring from his computer. He was writing the words “never too much porn” with his own feces on the walls of his nearly empty apartment. He was then turned over to a mental institution.

The story revolves around an emo blogger who’s fond of creating video blogs for his site. While uploading one installment of his video series, his home gets invaded by a rogue member of the undead. The teen manages to kill the zombie, but is bitten in the process. The movie then shows his slow metamorphosis into a zombie. The entire movie will be shot with a webcam and will be presented like a series of video blogs.

The screenplay was written by a young film student named Paul Luis, who claims the idea hit him while he was watching webcam video of a young couple making love in the porn streaming site. When asked why he chose to write an emo character as the protagonist, Luis’ reply was short and very enthusiastic: “Because those guy suck.”

What began as a leisurely and rather therapeutic side project for Luis, this screenplay raised the interest of independent filmmakers who are still obsessed with reviving the 80s style campy, B-movie horror flicks. The project itself is still undergoing pre-production, and the crew are looking for aspiring actors to play the lead.

“I don’t think a well known face would make the film as effective as it could potentially be. Casting relatively unknown actors have worked well in previous horror movies, like The Blair Witch Project and Cannibal Holocaust.”

When asked about how the movie would extend into three parts when the protagonist is, from the premise itself, dying, Luis had a quick and ready reply. “Hey, the Spawn comic book is about a character who’s also dying. Or least a guy who came back from hell with a limited amount of time on earth, and yet they managed to extend the series far beyond acceptable premises. If McFarlane could jerk around like that, why can’t I?”

You Brain should be in a video store bargain bin near you soon enough.

Interestingly enough, many big names in the porn industry are trying to get involved with the project. The project is said to comprise of original compositions from individuals one would not expect to have any musical inspirations at all, with the exception of playing the skin flute, of course.

According to porn analyst Lloyd Jericho, “What’s amazing about porn is the leeway it usually has when it comes to creative content. After the fact that you’ve filmed two people having authentic sex, there’s still always room for escalation, hence the spawning of several porn niches.”

When told about the proposed musical project, Jericho was not among the many that scoffed the idea. “Not very many people would readily accept this, but the people you see in porn movies are every bit performers as their counterparts on Broadway. Many of them are amazing talents that just require the proper direction and material to have those talents be revealed. Keep in mind that their job is more than twice as hard as the actors in film and theater, and there are a lot of porn movies out there that are, even if you eliminate the hardcore sex scenes, can be pretty entertaining.”

It is also reported that the musicals would remain exclusive to people involved in the porn industry, past or present, meaning they would not hire any professional directors, choreographers and composers. Jericho also agreed to this notion. “It takes some one who is truly in the industry to really understand it. There are certain differences discipline-wise. That’s what makes porn special. An actress in a porn movie can do well in mainstream cinema, but vice versa? I have serious doubts. Of course, I challenge people like Megan Fox and Jessica Biel to try and prove me wrong.”

Keep your eyes peeled then, because soon we could all be witness to the first ever orgy scene featuring a very powerful ensemble piece the would stimulate our hearts and minds.

Porn Movies made by amateurs like yourself have become widely traded on sites like You Porn.com, and what many couples (or ex-couples) fail to recognize when they make these flicks, is that once they’re uploaded to the web, they are there forever, and can even come back to haunt you. Porn videos also must be produced in accordance with strict government guidelines, such as the provision that you must retain the records that verify the adult status us any performers as well as have permission for them to appear in your movie with you.

Porn movies produced by amateurs and posted on the Internet have largely gone unregulated by authorities as it is difficult to police the origin of all postings from the Internet, but rest assured that the authorities are aware of this issue and are watching you. Porno has always been a sensitive subject for ideological political and religious groups, and as long as they make up major voting constituencies of this country, you’re going have to watch what you porn.