The Porn Pay-Per-View Network

A quiet local burger joint was terrorized by the display of dramatics by a teen pornstar and her extremely jealous boyfriend yesterday in Fresno. The supposed loving couple went in and had themselves a quick meal when all of a sudden a veritable war was waged over their grease-filled dinner.

The argument started when the lovely adult film star started an innocent flirtation with the waiter, who was an underaged pimple-faced high school student. The boyfriend did not take kindly to the suggestive manner his girl had asked for a milkshake. The rather promiscuous young woman then followed it up by asking the waiter what he thought about her “milkshake” and if it indeed does “bring all the boys to the yard”. This did not sit well with the boyfriend, who verbally assaulted the already speechless waiter mercilessly. One could only expect spit burgers in the boyfriend’s immediate future. After successfully shooing away the waiter, the irate boyfriend turn his attention to the teen starlet. He was demanding an explanation as to why she “always had to flirt with someone who had something remotely resembling a cock”.

The young woman was aghast and apologetic, stating that the nature of her occupation did not afford her many other methods of interacting with the opposite sex. She mentioned that he should just accept that and move on, that he should just take her as she truly was or find someone else. These well intentioned but short sighted comments made matters worse. The boyfriend went on a tirade as to how one must make sacrifices and adjustments to make a relationship work. H delivered this argument with an increasing volume. It wasn’t long until the people in the diner were taking significant notice to the couple’s spat.

When the manager politely approached them about potentially ruining the other customers’ dining experience, he was greeted with a chorus of middle fingers ad carefully worded insults from the couple, each with a colorful remark that the manager will never forget for a long time. The manager then summoned security, one big guy named Rudy, to escort the couple out of the premises. The couple showed the same amount of disrespect to the security officer, pointing out hat he “looked like a constipated ape” in his uniform. The couple were so into it that their words have managed to reduce the manager, the guard, and a few other customers who had tried to join the fray to tears.

The couple had made up afterwards, but the incident will never be forgotten by everyone in attendance.

If there’s anyone who deserves to use music as an outlet for his frustration, it’s teen pornstars. It comes to no surprise that a group of young men and women have decided to form an emo punk-inspired band known as Casting Couch.

“Right now, we’re just trying to mesh our individual styles and music influences until something comes out” said Serenity Philips, on lead vocals. Serenity is known for her amazing skills in porn videos and is making quite a reputation for herself for her deep throat abilities. Now, with Casting Couch, she gets to use that mouth of hers in an entirely different manner. “I have always loved singing, and even tried forming bands back in my younger days, but no one really took me seriously. Everyone was just trying to get me in bed. At least now, I know that it’s not a big deal, cause I’ve slept with every member of the band, both guys and girls.”

Rounding out the rest of Casting Couch is Ryan Dong, the Asian teen porn sensation on keyboards, Bernadette Blows on bass, Jiggy Von Fox on drums and BJ Smith on lead guitar. Smith is particularly excited about the concept of Casting Couch. “Serenity and I have been working on some songs that we know would be awesome. I’d say the band is a mix of The Cure with a dash of My Chemical Romance and there’s a little Rolling Stones mixed in there. I know we have a unique sound, and Serenity’s vocals can bring us over the top. I love working with these people, on and off camera.”

Their drummer naturally agrees. “We met in an orgy scene, and somehow we all sensed that there was something special with our group work.” Jiggy’s eyes started to well up. “It’s like we were destined to do this, and I believe that the fact that we all have inclinations in music and even play different instruments is far too fitting to be a coincidence. This band, Casting Couch, is written in the stars, man. There’s no stopping us now. We just need that one big hit.”

Every member of the band insists that none of them will be leaving the porn industry, whether or not the band is a success. “This is where we met, and porn is actually something we all enjoy. We’ll all still be involved in it in whatever capacity” Serenity concluded.

There is a flip side to everything and the world of pornography is no different. As a craft that is already by mere definition a scandalous one, there is a small voice amongst the porn brethren that is screaming to be heard. A book will be released written by a teen pornstar clears the smoke that separates her world from the rest of reality.

Using a pseudonym Anita, the young woman recounts her short but storied life in paperback. According to an interview, she hopes to shed light on the life on the fast lane. While there have been many that have attempted to expose the hidden side of porn, Anita only claims to want to educate the readers on how it is to be a young star of adult films. She reveals series of events that had led to her downfall. Anita exclaims that her story is not a tragic one, but a true tale of survival from a world that we have all created.

In her book, Anita discusses how a normal, healthy girl like her would wind up in a sleazy studio somewhere in LA. She recalls how many times she lay spread eagled on a bed while being touched by a strange man in ways that only a lover should be allowed to. She explains what sort of conditions would push a normal girl into a world where her very humanity gets stripped piece by piece with each passing second. Anita promises that her life is a true reflection of today’s society. She even illustrates how better off she once was before she set foot into the world of porn. She celebrates the irony she had encased herself in.

Anita aims to reveal the other side of the porn industry, and promises readers that the other side is not exactly what they imagine. Tentatively entitled Anita’s Anal Adventure and Other Dumb Sounding Shit, Anita is more than fully prepared to break barriers with her autobiography. She believes that there is a deep lesson one could learn from the pleasant surprises offered in the upcoming book. Anita wants to make everyone realize that outside of porn, life is all the more sleazier.

In the tradition of America’s Top Model, a major television network is in talks of producing a reality show that would feature the world’s best porn models for a chance at a career in mainstream film and television. The contest is proposed to span over 22 episodes and would select both male and female porn stars from different parts of the world. Currently, the producers are still trying to figure out which contestants would make the cut.

“We are trying to fit together 12 candidates that would look good together in front of the camera, even with their clothes on” said one of the producers of the proposed TV show. The producer has requested anonymity in an effort to keep the details of the project under wraps before the network gives the green light. He is, however, very optimistic. “It’s a show featuring porn stars. That in itself is ratings gold, my friend.”

A blogger who has stumbled upon rumors about the project has a lot less faith in the project as opposed to the enthusiastic producer. “There’s a very specific purpose for porn, and there is a very specific reason why people go and watch porn. I don’t think this show will be able to provide those reasons. Unless of course, it’s on HBO.”

The producers are now combing through various DVDs and websites looking for the perfect 12. The producer, after a few drinks, was more open to details. “We’re going to have them live in one house. Imagine the potential! These people are all so eager to break out of porn, that they’ll do anything. Plus, when the DVD comes out, it will be loaded with tons of extras featuring these hotties in private moments.”

Currently, the network has been reluctant to push through with the project, fearing a backlash from the audience. The producer was not fazed by this. “If they don’t like it, we’ll take the project to another network. But they’d be foolish not to grab at this opportunity. Remember, these are pornstars, in one house, getting into contests to attain a singular goal. It’s a guaranteed Emmy.”

Emmy or not, the conditions with which to release a brand new reality show seem to be ideal. With television being crammed with reality shows from numerous B-list celebrities, maybe a reality show featuring the biggest names in the adult industry may be the shot in the arm that network television needs.

Back in the 80’s, cartoons are usually characters from a budding toy franchise. With shows like the Transformers, GI Joe, Thundercats, Silverhawks and a host of other team based, good-versus-evil series, they pretty much defined an entire generation so much so that more than one of those titles are still being rehashed, rerun, and remade even today. There is no denying that a successful franchise is truly timeless.

As television evolved and the audience grew up, a need for more mature, complex, storylines are more in demand. Even when it came to children’s shows, cartoons themselves took a different approach. With networks like Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon capturing a slew of cartoon lovers both young and old, the diversity of programming these days is nothing short of impressive. From a kindhearted sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, to a boy genius with a secret laboratory within his household, cartoons have become enticing to adults as well as children. This of course, paved the way for cartoons that are catered specifically for a more mature audience.

Shows like Robot Chicken, Sealab 2021 and others got to be shown on-air primarily during late hours. This of course worked under the assumption that this air time would prevent many youngsters from seeing the thematically unfit for kids. With the success of these programs, there is a recognizable chunk in the audience who still enjoy the gaiety brought upon by animation.

Now, there are talks about testing the level of freedom of content when it comes to cartoons. Unconfirmed reports state that a major television network is in the development stage of producing an animated series featuring teen pornstars as superheroes, fighting evil when they are not being filmed having sex. It is also rumored that the show would feature the voice talents of actual teen adult film stars for this ground breaking project.

Sex has been an underlying theme in many adult oriented animated shows in the past. Pam Anderson’s Striperella comes to mind, a show about a stripper/superhero. But never has the adult film industry been placed on such a mainstream medium. The potential for publicity seems limitless, and that fact tends to make the launch of such a project pessimistic.

Perhaps the level of success a show of this magnitude could achieve depends on how the entire concept is handled. Despite the liberal front of today’s society seems to put up, a great number of conservative groups exist out there that would not something like this push through.