Posts Tagged ‘teen pornstars’

Teen Pornstars Rock Out

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

If there’s anyone who deserves to use music as an outlet for his frustration, it’s teen pornstars. It comes to no surprise that a group of young men and women have decided to form an emo punk-inspired band known as Casting Couch.

“Right now, we’re just trying to mesh our individual styles and music influences until something comes out” said Serenity Philips, on lead vocals. Serenity is known for her amazing skills in porn videos and is making quite a reputation for herself for her deep throat abilities. Now, with Casting Couch, she gets to use that mouth of hers in an entirely different manner. “I have always loved singing, and even tried forming bands back in my younger days, but no one really took me seriously. Everyone was just trying to get me in bed. At least now, I know that it’s not a big deal, cause I’ve slept with every member of the band, both guys and girls.”

Rounding out the rest of Casting Couch is Ryan Dong, the Asian teen porn sensation on keyboards, Bernadette Blows on bass, Jiggy Von Fox on drums and BJ Smith on lead guitar. Smith is particularly excited about the concept of Casting Couch. “Serenity and I have been working on some songs that we know would be awesome. I’d say the band is a mix of The Cure with a dash of My Chemical Romance and there’s a little Rolling Stones mixed in there. I know we have a unique sound, and Serenity’s vocals can bring us over the top. I love working with these people, on and off camera.”

Their drummer naturally agrees. “We met in an orgy scene, and somehow we all sensed that there was something special with our group work.” Jiggy’s eyes started to well up. “It’s like we were destined to do this, and I believe that the fact that we all have inclinations in music and even play different instruments is far too fitting to be a coincidence. This band, Casting Couch, is written in the stars, man. There’s no stopping us now. We just need that one big hit.”

Every member of the band insists that none of them will be leaving the porn industry, whether or not the band is a success. “This is where we met, and porn is actually something we all enjoy. We’ll all still be involved in it in whatever capacity” Serenity concluded.

Teen Pornstars Keep Us Safe From Aliens.

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

It’s a question that has always been raised ever since man has reached the moon. Is there intelligent life out there? And by “there”, people refer to outer space. Science fiction movies are loaded with aliens usually bent on universal conquest, but where is it all based? Since man has achieved some form of space travel, it’s likely that there are beings on other worlds that have, as well. And if they do show up n our skies, how will we be able to defend ourselves in a conflict, when our most potent military weapons are as destructive to ourselves as they are against “them”.

A scientist from NASA, a firm believer in the existence of alien beings, has a theory as to why we have not seen any unexpected visitors in the planet. She believes that aliens avoid our planet because of porn. “NASA has been sending transmissions of random things into space. Music, videos from popular movies and television shows just to somehow give any beings out there an idea of human life” explained NASA scientist Christina Lee. She reveals what she thinks is a folly done by her predecessors I the research center.

“Apparently, someone thought it would be amusing to beam out porn videos, particularly those starring teen pornstars into space. And I believe that’s what’s scaring off those creatures!” Lee explains thoroughly why she believes that the videos are the reason why any form of contact had been possible. “Think about it this way. The aliens would not have any idea that what they’re actually watching is our way of mating. In many ways, they could see the teen porn and get the impression that they’re torture videos. Some of them literally are! These videos could have caused any alien who was on his way here and perhaps provide us useful insight of the universe and space travel to say ‘fuck it’ and turn around.”

When asked why she thinks no one tries and removes the porn videos from the broadcast, Lee just raises her arms in the air and shrugs. “Those guys back then may have fucked up the human race’s ability for space travel. And for what? For some juvenile kicks, that’s what. If I didn’t need this job to support the hundred cats I like with, I’d quit.”

In space, it is said that no one can hear you scream. Not even when being assaulted by a thick dildo.

Would a Saturday Morning Cartoon Featuring Teen Pornstars Fly?

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Back in the 80’s, cartoons are usually characters from a budding toy franchise. With shows like the Transformers, GI Joe, Thundercats, Silverhawks and a host of other team based, good-versus-evil series, they pretty much defined an entire generation so much so that more than one of those titles are still being rehashed, rerun, and remade even today. There is no denying that a successful franchise is truly timeless.

As television evolved and the audience grew up, a need for more mature, complex, storylines are more in demand. Even when it came to children’s shows, cartoons themselves took a different approach. With networks like Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon capturing a slew of cartoon lovers both young and old, the diversity of programming these days is nothing short of impressive. From a kindhearted sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, to a boy genius with a secret laboratory within his household, cartoons have become enticing to adults as well as children. This of course, paved the way for cartoons that are catered specifically for a more mature audience.

Shows like Robot Chicken, Sealab 2021 and others got to be shown on-air primarily during late hours. This of course worked under the assumption that this air time would prevent many youngsters from seeing the thematically unfit for kids. With the success of these programs, there is a recognizable chunk in the audience who still enjoy the gaiety brought upon by animation.

Now, there are talks about testing the level of freedom of content when it comes to cartoons. Unconfirmed reports state that a major television network is in the development stage of producing an animated series featuring teen pornstars as superheroes, fighting evil when they are not being filmed having sex. It is also rumored that the show would feature the voice talents of actual teen adult film stars for this ground breaking project.

Sex has been an underlying theme in many adult oriented animated shows in the past. Pam Anderson’s Striperella comes to mind, a show about a stripper/superhero. But never has the adult film industry been placed on such a mainstream medium. The potential for publicity seems limitless, and that fact tends to make the launch of such a project pessimistic.

Perhaps the level of success a show of this magnitude could achieve depends on how the entire concept is handled. Despite the liberal front of today’s society seems to put up, a great number of conservative groups exist out there that would not something like this push through.



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