The Porn Pay-Per-View Network

The market is changing. With the economy on a very bad state, many people are pursuing some of their seemingly inessential passions through non-conventional means. There has been a prolific use of hot porn videos as a substitute for currency in certain circles around the world. The search for and exchange of such goods have become increasingly widespread that porn is now slowly becoming the equivalent of cigarettes in prison in terms of market use.

Regarded by many as collectibles, porn videos have developed somewhat a constant state of motion when it comes to the frequency of how it circulates and changes hands. Many use their porn collection as a means of trading with other collectors for their own porn videos, and a porn videos have been used several times to barter for other products.

Said one eager porn collector, “I’ve been using my videos to acquire other porn videos that I like, which isn’t a new thing. Recently I’ve discovered that there’s a lot of demand when it comes to porn, and I’ve managed to use it to build up my comic book and action figure collection without even having to spend any real money!”

Many consumers echo this statement, and with the production of new porn videos nearly on a daily basis, it seems like porn is one effective alternative to spending money. Many are even trying to develop a pricing guide for these videos, in order to get a standard set of determining a video’s value. “The rarer it is, it definitely will be worth more. The age of the video, the quality, and even the medium tends to affect the value. Like say, you have a copy of a sex video that everyone has been able to download, that’s pretty much worthless. But if you have it on DVD, what with the extra features and the packaging, that’s going to hike up its value. But let’s say you have a downloaded copy of a porno that no one has been able to get, then it would also be worth nearly as much as an original DVD.What fetches the most value are those that feature the sickest, most unconventional stuff, like genuine scat. Those are very hard to find”

If this trend continues, and there are no indicators showing that it will not, porn videos would become a very sound investment in the years to come. Many people are already stacking up, downloading every porn video they would think fetches a huge amount.

It’s one of the age old questions that many individuals have pondered. What is the best way to watch adult content? Is a porn download much more ideal to streaming video? Are streaming sites preferable to having to download your porn? We examine the pros and cons of the two methods in attempt to figure out what truly is the best way to watch porn.

Let’s start with the content. Both methods of porn watching typically contain the same content. If it’s available on streaming, there is no reason to believe that the clip or movie is not downloadable. This notion of course does not work the other way around. A lot of times people use streaming sites to advertise certain movies, and you’ll have to download those movies to see the whole thing in its entirety. However, there are several cases wherein the people who download an entire porn movie discover that the best parts are already up for streaming, and they didn’t really miss much. This causes massive dissonance, especially if the content downloaded was not free.

The method in acquiring the porn is also a factor that affects the materials quality. Most people put up the best quality only for download, as video streaming does get a little slow if the video is of a higher quality. If not uploaded correctly, the streaming porn video would most likely be in a terrible condition.

Privacy is also another thing that should be taken into consideration. Porn and security go hand in hand. When it comes to porn, everyone becomes a veritable ninja, what with the sneakiness required and stuff. Streaming videos leave no trace evidence, especially if one knows how to cover his or her tracks, while downloading porn not only leaves evidence in the browser’s history but in the hard drive as well! And, if the video downloaded was from a questionable source, the danger of having your computer crash due to porn can be a tad embarrassing.

In conclusion, the answer to the age old question raised remains subjective. It depends on an individual needs and circumstances. Like say, if you were living alone, why would you have to be wary about privacy? In the end it is all up to the viewer to decide which medium is best for him or her. Remember though, to always use protection. Streaming or download, the Internet is still a Petri dish of viruses that can be damaging to your quality porn time.

Porn movies have changed dramatically over the past few decades. Sure, there’s still the variety of hardcore sex that has made porn movies extremely popular. But many believe the creative direction of porn has shifted dramatically. Instead of the old full length porn videos that had one encapsulating story, a lot of porn videos these days focus on a particular performer doing different things per scene. Many loyal fans are saddened by this trend.

One porn critic had an opinion regarding the matter. “True, porn is always about the sex scenes and the adult film stars. But those porn movies that actually have a story tend to be more effective in my book. Not only do they have the usual hardcore stuff, but the effective ones have a story that keeps the viewer engaged in every scene, thereby increasing a porn video’s effectiveness.”

Many fans and critics echo this observation. This recent decline in storied porn, according to some of the producers, is product of the continually dismal state of the world’s economy. “You think only TV and film writers were on strike?” asked Marv Whitman, a small time porn producer from Cobb County. “It’s hard to shell out money for a scriptwriter who’s going to write something for porn. The people watch to see pretty people have sex. That’s it. Erotica these days are too expensive.”

Many consider erotica as an essential part of the porn process, and Whitman’s comments have been rejected by many fans. An angry comment by one fan reveals that “We’re sick and tired of watching the pizza guy get laid over and over again by some big boobed bimbo? Where’s the material? These guys aren’t even trying anymore!” Whitman has nothing but disdain for fans who disapprove of straight up hardcore action.

“I’m a fan of porn myself, mind you, a big enough fan to actually pursue a career in it. And as a fan, I don’t give a rat’s ass if the hot chick is banging the pizza guy, the pool boy, the doctor or even a freaking priest! If it’s got a hot chick having sex and doing freaky things, I am always in! These people are hypocrites, not to mention a bit pretentious, expecting riveting storylines that they wouldn’t even pay attention to.”

No matter the issue, the number of feature length porn is on the decline, and the fans are clamoring for more.

The nefarious scheme behind fee porn or pay porn has been revealed. While the majority of the world seems uninfluenced by these pornographic materials, our sources confirm that the proliferation of paid porn is actually a part of a global conspiracy to thin out the human race to its more intelligent beings.

It is believed that the previous difficulties the world has been dealing with like wars and recession and sickness have all been due to one thing, and that cause is the rapid decline of education worldwide. Simply put, the human population has been getting dumber generation after generation. Despite the amazing leaps in technology, the majority of the worldwide populace is as dumb as ever, with IQs scoring an all time low. A secret organization has been formed to combat this threat, and porn is just their latest attempt to wipe out the human race’s intellectually inferior members.

Our reliable source, who was scared to death at the prospect of his identity being revealed, disclosed that this organization has started out carrying out their mission with subliminal messages from TV. These messages were designed to convince viewers to pursue more intellectual endeavors. However, their plan failed since the apparent dumbness of popular television over the past ten years has been too overpowering that the subliminal messages simply failed to penetrate.

The overwhelming influence of pop music also drowned out any attempts of this secret organization to improve the quality of life for all listeners, and at that point the organization decided to shift gears. Instead of getting the populace to get smarter, the organization deemed that it was just a matter of getting rid of the stupid folk that would ensure the intellectual longevity of the human race.

And that is where porn comes into the picture. Apparently the organization targeted fee porn because they consider the mediums audience the most dangerous types of people on Earth: stupid people with money. Poor stupid folk were easy to dispose of while rich stupid folk usually find themselves in positions of power and affect the direction of the entire world. Our source reported that the porn videos affect the minds of those who are considered to be, by the organization’s own classification, “intellectually unfit to live”. Secret messages from these porn videos actually start deteriorating the feeble mind, and with months of regular viewing, the brain just ceases to function.

So if you’re one of those jock types who use their looks and physique to breeze through academics… beware!

Living in a world where the global economy seemingly hangs on just by a thread, everyone is trying their best to save every penny they can. Even the fans of hardcore pornography are always on the look out for high quality adult entertainment without having as huge of a toll taken on these loyal audiences’ wallets. Our senior porn economics analyst Roger Von Bukes urges fans to enjoy the benefits of pay per minute porn movies.

Like the name suggests, pay per porn minute porn movies are a staple promo in most of the top porn websites on the Web today, charging viewers only for the actual minutes that the porn videos was being streamed. Von Bukes, this is the best way to enjoy porn without having the hassle of spending too much and regretting it later. Von Bukes main rationale for this is simple, he claims that the human biology ensures that his suggested course of action does save people money.

How? Why? It’s simple and pretty darn obvious. If an average man gets charged only for the actual amount of time he spends watching the porn video, and if it’s done so by the minute, then it would definitely be the most economical way the average man can watch porn. After all, the average man only watches porn to jerk off, and the average man ejaculates at around two to three minutes. That’s even less time spent than listening to your average song!

Complete satisfaction in just under three minutes. That is the power of masturbation and the driving force behind the success of these pay per minute movies. Von Bukes is so confident on this theory that he even experimented with it. He took two average guys who do not know each other and set them up in two different apartments in one building. Each man was given free internet porn memberships, one was signed up with one of those pay per minute programs, while the other as giving an important. After the two month mark both guys were asked for a very honest statement. Their statements were later corroborated with other data that was accumulated from each man’s respective computer, and yes, indeed, both men watched the same amount of porn. It’s just that one man paid for it in full while the other paid only for the good parts.

Von Bukes is pursuing further study, but is already urging people to save on porn.

A quiet afternoon was torn asunder by a riveting hostage crisis taking place in the normally peaceful town of Cleveland, Ohio. A middle aged unemployed man by the name of Henry Laughlin had snapped one morning and decided to hold two kids hostage in his rundown apartment. Miraculously, no one was hurt, and it was all thanks to the unlikely assist of online porn movies.

Laughlin had taken two of his neighbor’s kids, who he always had a friendly relationship with, hostage as he was screaming “bloody murder in the skies”. Laughlin, a former research assistant at the University of Cleveland was laid off a few months ago due to budget cuts and had been spending an “inordinate” amount of time watching the heavens with his telescope.

“That bastard threatened my kids” said the father Frank Robbins. “We’ve known him for years, treated him as one of our own, but I tell you, I’m gonna kill him the next time I see him!”

Other neighbors claim that Laughlin had never been more than docile. Even after losing his job a few weeks back, neighbors and other friends claim that Laughlin’s behavior never veered towards violence or did he display any form of depression or anxiety.

The day he took his neighbor’s kids hostage, Laughlin never offered any demands nor did he harm the children. The kids had revealed that all the while they had never felt threatened despite the fat that the hostage taker was wielding a gun. All the while, the suspect had just left the children to play with the computer, warning them to not set foot outside the apartment.

“He was very nice,” claimed Sheila, the seven year old hostage. “He said it wasn’t safe outside, and he was protecting us, and it was too late for daddy, who was already turned into an asshole.”

The situation was laid to rest when the SWAT team finally took down Laughlin. Laughlin lowered his guard after one of the hostages accidentally discovered a porn site, and was watching a porn video. Once the members of the SWAT team burst into the door Laughlin, did not bother putting up a fight.

In a chilling interview with the suspect, Laughlin reveals his newly developed dementia. “It’s all coming to an end. It’s an asshole epidemic. Everyone! Turning into assholes! Assholes I tell you! It’s in the sky! Look at the sky!”

At that point Laughlin had wet himself and let out a long and very maniacal laugh.

Many people admire the Japanese as a nation and as a people due to their countless contributions to the world. From their impeccable technology to the cultural landmarks such as the samurai, the Japanese have always been regarded as consistently being at the top of the proverbial global class. But one thing that truly sets Japan head and shoulders above the global competition is the undeniable quality of their porn. Truly, Japan has the best porn videos.

Their very presence in the porn industry has been nothing but years upon years of utter impact, changing the landscape of porn forever. From school girls with the short skirts to big, hulking men with tentacle penises, Japanese porn has taken sex movies into a whole new level. Should we expect little from the country that produced a certain Akira Kurosawa?

The term “bukkake” is obviously of Japanese descent, and it is a clear reflection of how bold the Japanese truly are, slinging their sperm towards unsuspecting female pedestrians or having a willing female take gallons, it seems, of sperm over her pretty face. Hentai has become so popular that it has evolved into a major part of geek culture, with its amazing animation, imaginative sex scenes and of course, out of the box storytelling.

Japanese porn is also lauded for their uber realistic depiction of rape and gang rape. The use of petite women and the image of having said women be taken by force by a number of healthy young men is the ultimate commentary of a male dominated nation such as Japan. In fact, there are fewer Japanese porn videos that feature the female lead as the sexual aggressor than otherwise.

When it comes to weird, Japanese porn not only crosses it, but does cartwheels all over the other side of the line. From the very perverse exhibitionist train sex videos, to the rampant use of sex toys, Japanese porn shows exactly the sort of repressed sexuality an entire nation possesses. No other nation has produced porn so influential that it is copied by every other porn producing country in the world. It is hard to watch a porn video these days that goes on without the least bit of Japanese influence.

Japanese porn is the ultimate outlet for those who has ever wanted to explore the most taboo, and Japanese porn indeed is the best in the world. If the nation of Japan truly has anything to be proud of, and they do, it is their unsung hero. The medium of pornography. Thank you Japan for some of the truly best sex videos!

Times are so hard that people have stopped giving to the less fortunate. A Cleveland-based charitable institution has found a way to solve that. Understanding the fact that people these days need at least some incentive before trying to reach into their pockets, the Cleveland Cares Foundation have decided to entice potential donors and volunteers with the ability to freely download porn videos.

Coordinating with a top porn website, a donation of a certain amount or rendering a specific amount of volunteer hours gives one access to the exclusive content provided for the CCF. While this is not the only incentive available to interested parties, t has become quickly the most popular and effective one. The founder of CCF, Ken Thurmgood, is very pleased. “The adult film industry is one thin that I’m grateful for. To tell you the truth, I never really expected to get more assistance from the porn industry than I do from the government. Shows all of us not to judge a person by the number of times their anatomy had been invaded by a foreign object.”

Things are also looking up for the volunteers who had been to CCF for a long time. “To be completely frank,” said Irma, a middle aged volunteer for CCF. “I was at first wary of their help. After all, what would the community say? Well, Mr. Thurmgood’s gut instincts tell him that it’s a right course of action.”

This decision by Thurmgood and his band of do-gooders have not been wet met with has seen more than its fair share of opposition. The CCF still remains undaunted n their cause. “Just because they do adult movies doesn’t mean that they can’t be contributing members of society.” Thumgood beams as he says these words. “And like I’ve said, they’ve done more for Cleveland’s less fortunate than most so-called morally superior individuals.”

The CCF has made it a point to shun all the righteous detractors from their cause, focusing only a results-based program t help the people of Cleveland Thurmgood and the rest of his people also hope that their actions inspire other non-government charitable institutions to take bolder steps to achieve their goals. “The world is becoming more and more competitive, and it’s hard for guys like us who just want to help out. If people would rather spend their money on porn, then basically that’s what we’re offering. With an extra dose of charity, of course.”

He’s smarter than the average bear, and if you’ve seen his adult sex video. You know that Yogi Bear is superior in other ways besides intellect. Over the years there has been an onslaught of cartoon sex videos, thanks largely to the proliferation of flash animation and an entire generation of perverts. From the Flintstones having orgies with the Rubbles, to the cast of Family Guy getting it on, beloved cartoon characters have been used in some of the sickest ways imaginable.

A recent survey of fans of these kinds of videos indicated that Yogi Bear’s sex video is surprisingly at the top of the list. Yogi Bear, though a beloved cartoon character from the golden age of Hanna Barbera Cartoons dating back to the 70s, does not measure in popularity against bigger cartoon icons like the Simpsons or Disney characters. However, Yogi’s indecent behavior with love interest Lulu has garnered the most nods, slightly edging out the classic Aladdin porn video.

There are other notable mentions in this category. Fans have voted that the Gundam scene in the classic Dragonball Z/Sailor Moon porn movie as officially the weirdest animated porn scene anyone has ever seen. The movie is a crossover of two popular anime series, and it included other popular anime characters as well. In the said scene, a Gundam robot gets it on with one of the mechs from Neon Genesis Evangelion!

Voted in for the most disturbing animated porn video is Garfield, who’s seen banging Arlene, the uppity female cat of his dreams. The scenes from the movie show everyone get some sex action, including Odie and Jon. Man’s best friend indeed. A close second to this is the scene from the Simpsons sex video, where after watching his best friend Milhouse get it on with his sister Lisa, Bart joins in on the action for some incestuous fun.

Fans also have some requests for upcoming animated flicks. Porn fans and comic book geeks alike would love to see a porn version of Justice League Unlimited. Imagine Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Vixen and Supergirl getting nailed simultaneously at super speed by the Flash! Fans also want to see all ten of Ben 10’s alien incarnations have a shot at some pussy. People are also clamoring for some porn involving video game characters, like Lara Croft, Jill Valentine, Princess Toadstool and the rest of the cast of Super Mario Bros., and of course, Mrs. Pac Man.

As human beings, it is only natural for is to speculate on what is the best in every field, industry or line. The porn industry is no different, and now several online fans are raising the age old question. What is indeed the best porn video ever? If Citizen Kane is considered to be the greatest American film of all time, and Watchmen is considered to be the finest graphic novel in the history of comic books, then it’s time to determine which porn video truly is the crown jewel in the world of adult films.

The world’s leading experts on porn are now being assembled and they would be studying countless hours of porn videos. Their representative, Thurman Sparks, who holds the title for watching the most porn videos in one day, recently revealed this campaign in a press conference. ”It’s high time to give that one video the honor of being the greatest of all time. It’s time to recognize the Muhammad Ali of fuck videos.”

When asked about what criteria is to be used to judge the validity of a porn video, Sparks took several moments to truly get down to it. “For me, personally, one measurement of the greatness of any porn video is its timelessness. It can be very old, but no matter how many times you watch it, it still inspires you to do things to yourself that many people believe would lead to blindness. But that’s just me.”

With the determination of the greatest porn video of all time, comes the formation of the official porn quality council, which Sparks will be a part of. Sparks screams about being a proud member. Despite Sparks’ enthusiasm, the entire list of council members remains confidential. It has been reported, and Sparks confirms this, that the list reads like a who’s who of people in the porn industry, from award winning directors to screen legends, as well as people like Sparks, who are hardcore fans of hardcore movies.

The council’s first act would be to declare the best porn video ever by the end of this year. “It is truly time for a golden age in pornography. I dare say that a porn revolution is at hand. It’s all coming together. The crowning of the video that is worthy. The formation of the brotherhood. It is but a matter of time before our pornographic hordes overrun the entire world!”